How's Your Heart?
This article is part of Finding the Words, a newsletter that delivers practical insights on the day’s issues.
If you ever meet Dianne Myles, don't expect her to ask how you're doing.
It’s not because she doesn't care; it's because she cares too much to accept the answer she knows she'll get. “Fine. How are you?”
You know that exchange, right?
So Dianne, a documentarian by trade, asks a different set of questions. My favorite is: "How's your heart?"
Her questions are different by design because they invite an actual answer. Some might say Dianne’s approach is just a warmer way to start a conversation, but the longer I've gotten to know her, the more I've come to believe it's something bigger.
In times like these, with all their distraction and division, asking a real question and sticking around for the real answer is a radical act of communication.
I've had a front-row seat to Dianne’s radical act of communication for the past year and a half, while she served as Mission Partners' Social Entrepreneur in Residence. Her role with us formally wraps up later this summer, which gave me the opportunity to ask her a few questions during a live-audience taping of the Mission Forward podcast earlier this week.
The question we decided to focus on was the same question she chose to guide her residency: “How are you showing up for your fellow humans, and do they feel it?”
It’s a critically important question, considering America’s ongoing loneliness epidemic, first named in 2023 by then-U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. It’ll come as no surprise that as digital communication and social media use have increased, Americans’ real-world connections have decreased, leaving us with fewer opportunities to feel emotionally connected and supported.
So when I asked Dianne, who makes her living behind a camera, how she keeps human-focused in this tech-focused world, her answer totally got me:
Put the camera down.
It’s simple, Dianne says. "I start in love." And to her, that requires seeing people first, before the cameras go up. It’s about forming a human connection so strong that people forget the cameras are even there.
Dianne calls it the “front-porch approach.” Front porches were once the coolest spot in the house, where neighbors gathered on summer nights and built community with ease. Then “air conditioning arrived, we moved inside, and slowly we stopped knowing one another.”
The porch, as she says, was never really about the porch. It was about being close enough to actually know each other. Close enough to actually ask questions and wait for the answers.
That same instinct to “get closer” runs through her newest film, History Lives Here. It's a soon-to-be-released documentary about Black philanthropy in America that leans into philanthropy's original meaning: the love of humankind. It’s also her love letter to humanity, and a reminder that asking better questions can go a long way toward bringing us closer together.
Simply put, it's a documentary that makes us think:
How are YOU showing up for your fellow humans, and do they feel it?
Listening to Dianne, it's abundantly clear that we could all benefit from getting back on the porch—literally or figuratively. Our social feeds will keep trying to distract us. The noise will keep getting louder. The loneliness will grow. Unless we disrupt it with better prompts and questions.
Oh, and since you’re asking, my heart is full—and grateful for Dianne’s reminder to keep asking better questions.
Learn more about Dianne’s work and support her forthcoming documentary at HumanFocusedMedia.com.
This post is part of the Finding The Words column, a series published every Wednesday that delivers a dose of communication insights direct to your inbox. If you like what you read, we hope you’ll subscribe to ensure you receive this each week.
