The Truth Is...
This article is part of Finding the Words, a newsletter that delivers practical insights on the day’s issues.
When Dolly Parton died on August 25, the country did something it rarely does anymore: it grieved together. Tributes poured in from every direction: progressives and conservatives, young and old, pop stars and politicians. The Empire State Building glowed pink, and the White House flag flew at half-staff. For a few days, a deeply divided country agreed on one thing: we had lost someone who belonged to all of us.
How did she do it? For decades, Dolly politely declined to tell anyone what to think. "I don't do politics," she'd often say, but it was hardly a sign of indifference. In a 2023 interview with The Hollywood Reporter, she explained, "I have some of everybody in my immediate family and in my circle of employees."
Some of everybody.
The truth is, most of us have some of everybody in our lives too: around our dinner tables, on our teams and our Boards of directors, in our extended families, and in the communities we call home. And right now, a lot of us are struggling to agree on the same set of facts about the issues we care most about, so much so that our sense of what's true has started to blur.
The latest State of the Facts research from AP-NORC and USAFacts shows just how much. Most Americans (62%) say it is easy to tell the difference between fact and opinion. About half (49%) say it is easy to find factual information. And just 37% of Americans say it's easy to know when the information in front of them is actually true.
Lauren Woodman, President of USAFacts, put it this way: "Without transparency about where information comes from and how it's gathered, we risk more Americans being unable to engage in civic conversation because they're working from a different set of facts."
And a different set of facts can lead to a different understanding of the truth, even though two things can often be true at the same time.
The truth is…
When we treat our side of an issue as the only truth, we stop learning. When we treat it as one perspective among many that are worth our understanding (as Dolly did), we start building trust.
We are less than four weeks from an election, and that matters for all of us, not just the candidates. Whether you're running an advocacy campaign, writing a fundraising appeal, or deciding what to say publicly this fall, leading with one side's truth will only get you so far. Leading with understanding, as Dolly did, can take you much farther.
So, how do we bring a little more understanding into our own communications? Here are three places I'd start:
Listen for the why. Lean over the divide and listen closer. The why behind someone's choice reveals a great deal about their motivations. And those motivations often point to the truths they hold; truths that may not be as universal as we once assumed.
Mind the messenger. Who delivers a message matters as much as the message itself. Where institutional barriers might limit trust-building, lean on the people your community already trusts: alums, youth leaders, advisory council members, and neighbors. And, don't underestimate the importance of letting the messenger adjust how the message is delivered and in what format, based on what they know about their communities.
Stay steady, not static. I've written many times in this column about steadiness, consistency, and showing up in service of your values. But there's a nuance I want to ackowledge this week: consistency doesn't need to mean sounding like a broken record. You can stay steady as a communicator and still practice a willingness to listen, evolve, and adjust your message so that each time you speak, you're a little closer to understanding your audience, and they to understanding you.
Dolly had convictions, and she was more political than she let on. But she was also deeply understanding that multiple truths can exist. She once explained her refusal to take sides by saying, "I respect my audience too much for that." That's an approach worth borrowing when seeking to build deeper trust: respect first, so that the people who hold a different truth can still feel welcome at your table.
Bottom line: In a moment when we agree on so little, and the truth is hard to parse, make room for "some of everybody." Trust doesn't come from proving you're right. It comes from making room to understand more deeply.
This post is part of the Finding The Words column, a series published every Wednesday that delivers a dose of communication insights direct to your inbox. If you like what you read, we hope you’ll subscribe to ensure you receive this each week.
