How to Command The Room.
This article is part of Finding the Words, a newsletter that delivers practical insights on the day’s issues.
My first boss had a remarkable presence.
In complete transparency, my first full-time job out of college was working for Hall of Famer Cal Ripken, Jr.—the Cal Ripken Jr. who towers over most people with his height and can mesmerize a crowd with his striking blue eyes.
But it wasn't his features that gave him that commanding presence. It was his heart. When he entered a room, I didn't just see his presence—I felt it.
He never raised his voice, but people listened.
He never demanded attention, but he always had it.
Looking back, I realize what made him so commanding wasn't his position or power—it was how prepared he was, how much he cared about the people in the room, and how deeply he believed in what he was saying.
Cal practiced the Three Ps of Commanding a Room and made it look easy:
He was always prepared.
He was natural at making personal connections.
And he conveyed passion in everything he did.
A few years ago, I wrote an entry in this series, called "Confidence Boost," which explored how leaders often doubt their effectiveness as presenters—and I offered some ways to boost your confidence.
Today, I offer part 2 of that entry, so you can take that confidence boost and better command a room.
First, prepare effectively. Confidence doesn't come from being the loudest or most polished person in the room. It comes from being ready. Preparation is what steadies your nerves and helps your message rise above the noise. It gives you the space to be present. That kind of preparation isn't about memorizing lines; it's about knowing your message so well that you can adapt it with ease and confidence. When you do your homework—on the topic, on your audience, and on yourself—you can enter any room knowing you belong there—and the audience will feel it.
Second, make it personal. The best communicators know that it's not what you say, it's what people hear and feel. To authentically command a room, you must first connect with the people in it. That starts with intention—meeting your audience where they are, not where you wish they'd be. It's what I call "narrowcasting" instead of broadcasting. It means using eye contact, tone, and body language to communicate empathy and understanding. It means listening as much as you speak. When people feel seen and understood, they lean in. They want to hear what you have to say. And in that moment, your presence becomes not just commanding—but inviting. Focus your attention on who you're talking to, not everyone you could be talking to.
And finally, let your passion shine through. If preparation builds confidence and connection builds trust, passion fuels it all. When you speak about something you truly believe in—even if you need to deliver difficult news on that topic—your energy becomes contagious. You can invite people to join you in rising to an occasion because they believe in you. Remember, people may not remember all your words, but they'll remember how you made them feel.
There you have it: My three simple ingredients to command a room: not through force, but through feeling, not through perfection, but through passion. If you're looking to command more rooms, stop trying to "look the part" or have every answer. Instead, focus on showing up, ready, with enthusiasm, focus, curiosity, and care.
Bottom line: You don't need to dominate a room to command it. Instead, the next time you step up to speak, remember to prepare so well that you can be present, connect so deeply that others feel seen, and share your passion so openly that it moves people to action. Do those things, and you won't just command a room—you'll change it.
This post is part of the Finding The Words column, a series published every Wednesday that delivers a dose of communication insights direct to your inbox. If you like what you read, we hope you’ll subscribe to ensure you receive this each week.
